I really like this. I mean, _really_. How can I explain it - it starts out like a "real book" right from the start! You know what I mean, I am sure. It's like I'm reading an established story, one I'd love to continue reading, one that sucks you in right from the start.

I even like their names; they're good, solid names, evocative of impressions I'm already receiving of their characters.

I will have to reread it again (I read it once before and then just skimmed over again now), but I think it's an _excellent_ beginning. It will be very interesting to see where you'll take this next.